I don’t know how it got here, but the latest Avon catalogue somehow found its way onto our coffee table the other day. I hadn’t seen one of these since Ronald Reagan was in office, when my mother used to purchase bags of their lipstick and rouge from one of the fleshy, over-perfumed ladies in the neighborhood.
Thumbing through it, I was surprised to see Derek Jeter in there, smugly daring me to try his cologne. He’s just the latest in what has become a long line of celebrity perfumers; actors, actresses, rappers challenging to raise our scents to the next level. Actually, it looks like Jeter has six unique Eau de Toilette Sprays; fougere fresh, oriental woodsy, fougere green, aromatic spices, fresh citrus and warm cedarwood. Prices range from $18 to $24 per bottle.
It says in the catalogue that Derek Jeter is a “baseball champion, founder of the Turn 2 Foundation and role model for our generation.”
Now, I know the haters are going to be out there in full force. Even though Jeter’s cologne is going to become hugely popular and have a long run of sales excellence this season, the academics at the Society of American Fragrance Research (SAFR) are going to shred his legacy to pieces through persuasive argument and paradigm-shifting mathematical formula.
Any day now, somebody’s going to write one of those scathing safermetric essays about the cologne, how Jeter’s fougere green’s scent complexity “doesn’t have the range of 50 Cent’s ‘Power,’” or how Jeter’s warm cedarwood “is not nearly as consistent as the natural aromatics one finds in Sean Jean’s ‘Unforgivable.’”
I say back off a little bit guys. It’s too early to pass judgement on the shortstop/perfumers body of work right now. Let’s let history judge his stench.